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Worst day of my life...
Topic Started: Sunday, 27. March 2011, 19:25 (1,225 Views)
Dragon Lord
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Gaming4Life
Before I begin, I'd like to say one thing. I'm not trying to give a sob story here, I'm just really upset and I need a place to rant, and I feel a forum might be a good place to do so.

A few hours after I woke up today, I found out my cat had died. Now, I'm going to pause here to say something else before I continue. I know a lot of people after this line would say, " Oh, it was just a cat, get over it." But anyone who has had a pet and formed a bond like the one my cat and I had, will understand this.

My cat was like a son to me, like a child of my own. I loved him more than anything and he meant the world to me. He was such a huge part of my life. He made my life so much better, he was a true blessing to me in my life. He was only three years old, to find him dead today devastated me. I completely broke down when I realized he was gone. It was the worst feeling in my life, I never felt such emotional pain and sorrow such as that. It was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. I would rather re-live breaking both of my arms a million times over than having to go through that again, though I know it's part of life and I'll have to go through it so many times. He meant so much to me and it's so hard to cope with him being gone. I have to go to sleep every night without him being there curled up next to me, wake up without seeing him at the end of my bed. Come home without getting to see him race up to me all excited. I shared my room with him for over three years, and now I'm all alone in there. And I'll be honest, I feel alone in life right now, that's how big a part of my life he was.

Ah, I guess that should be all... I'm kind of lost right now, so I'm not too sure what I was trying to say with this. I just needed a place to vent and release some of those emotions. Thank you anyone who actually reads this, and a huge thank you to anyone who cares. You guys might read this and think it was just a cat, but to me he was my "son", my own. They say some pain time can never heal, I now know what kind of pain that is exactly.
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Geoffrey
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I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain I'd feel if I had lost my dog. :(
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Madyy
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Aw man, DL, I'm so sorry. :( Hit me up on MSN if you need someone to talk to. :)
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Jimmy
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Loosing a pet is hard, I lost one of my dogs to a train a few weeks ago :(
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Ancient Blonde
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I am so sorry. it really sucks losing a pet.


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Dragon Lord
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Gaming4Life
GAK - It does hurt. I've never felt this bad in my life. Honestly, I've never hurt this much.

Madyy - Thank you, I'll remember that.

Jimmy & Ancientblonde - Losing a pet is hard, but losing a child is harder. He might have been a cat, a completely different species, but I still considered him my child. He wasn't just a pet to me, he was so, so much more.
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Aidan
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Fortunately for myself, I have never experience such a terrible thing. I do, however, know what you're going through. It really is something to lose a cat after only three years, and I'm really sorry that he felt so close to you. I hope you can deal with this loss, DL.
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Jenny
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Aww, I know the feeling. D:

You're ALWAYS welcome to talk to me. I've been a volunteer at a local cat rescue for a couple of years, and I know exactly how it feels to grow attached to one of the residents and then lose them. Especially when we take in the ill. D:
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Tom
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I'm sorry for your loss, dude. Hang in there, though. Things'll get better, i'm sure. I may not understand how bad it is to lose somebody that close but I do have friends that have lost a lot and they're prepared to move on.

I'm glad you told us though. If you do need somebody to talk to, we're all here for ya! (y)

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jackie
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I'd be lying if I said I know what you were going through but I give my condolences and I'm sure we're all here for you ^_^

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Joe
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Hi.
That really sucks, sorry man. D:

It'll be even harder when my family loses one of our parrots. They talk, make noises, say phrases, etc.. I don't even want to think how silent it's going to be without them. Thankfully, our most intelligent parrot - who has about the same intelligence as a 5th grader - will live until he's about fifty. He's about.. eleven right now, I believe.
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AccountUSA
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a
Edited by AccountUSA, Wednesday, 26. September 2012, 21:16.
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Jacob
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Really sorry to here about that, DL. I've never had a pet to lose I suppose, but I can certainly understand how you could be so attached to him.
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Michael
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I know what it is like to lose a close friend. I once had a hamster named Samantha. She was beyond the cutest tiny animal I've seen. I played with her (maybe times where she nearly got a heart attack) every day. She died because I accidentally forgot to feed her. She was bunking in my room too. I treated her like a sister. I couldn't bear to say any words when I buried her because I couldn't handle the loss. :'( I miss her so much.
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Dragon Lord
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Gaming4Life
Thanks everyone. It really is hard. Like I stated multiple times, I had such a close bond with him that this hurts much more than just losing a simple pet. It really feels like I lost something much more -- like a child. I'm sure with time, I'll be able to deal with it better, but this is a scar that will never heal. It's just going to be so hard to adjust to going through life without him. Like I told someone off the forum: For three and a half years, every single night I went to sleep, I had him right there next to me snuggled into me. Now I have to go to sleep every night without that. Knowing the reason he's not there isn't because he's getting a drink, or eating, but because he's dead. It's being very hard to get past all this. Not just going to sleep either. Waking up and no longer seeing him laying down by my feet, which is where he always moved to over night. Not coming home to see him all excited that I'm home. It's nearly every aspect of my life that's going to be such excruciating pain for me to have to cope with. That's how much he impacted my life, and how strong of a bond him and I shared together.

Anyways, sorry to go off there again. I'm just not doing too great at the time of this post... I'm not afraid to admit it, I'm crying my eyes out right now. Again, that's just how much of a bond we had, how much he meant to me in my life. That the loss of him has devastated my life in a greater way than anything has before, and I'm sure more than anything will for a long, long time.

Again, thank you all for your understanding. It means a lot to me, it really does.
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Nick
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Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore!
Aww, Im so sorry man. I know what it is like to lose a pet/family member who you are close to. I've lost a dog before when he was at a very young age. It's tough, and yea its hard. But life isn't fair. Just pull through and hope for the best :) Getting a new cat could help too :P
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Alam
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You have my condolences. I know how you feel. It'll probably get worse too before it gets better. Just don't get the idea that it's better to forget than remember.
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Dragon Lord
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I never will forget, never. I couldn't forget even if I wanted to, but I don't want to ever forget him. He was the best thing in my life, I got him when I was in a really bad part of life, and he helped me get out of that. That's part of what makes this so hard for me, was that he gave me so much and became such a needed aspect of my life, that losing him has torn my world apart. I know with time it'll get better, but as I've said many times (not necessarily on here), he will always hold a place in my hear that no one or no other will ever replace.

And yes, I probably will get another cat some day. Just not sure when. I'll be honest, I'm worried that I won't be able to love the new cat as much as I loved Angel. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't love the new cat, I would. It's just that, no other cat will be able to replace what Angel did for me, what he meant to me.

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't get more pictures and mementos to keep of Angel, a mistake I will not make again with my new cat when I get him/her. I will be sure to get tons and tons of pictures and just a lot of stuff to have to always remember him/her with when he/she is gone as well. I guess it's hard to cope when I imagined so many wonderful years I would spend with Angel, and he's gone after three short years. I always imagined him being there when I started a family of my own. Him being there for my kids to get to know. Maybe I did get ahead of myself, knowing that so many things can go wrong with a cat that can end their life unexpectedly. But I guess when something has become such a huge part of your life, you think about it being there for so many years and being there to share so many wonderful memories with you.
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Ancient Blonde
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Dragon Lord
Sunday, 27. March 2011, 20:23
GAK - It does hurt. I've never felt this bad in my life. Honestly, I've never hurt this much.

Madyy - Thank you, I'll remember that.

Jimmy & Ancientblonde - Losing a pet is hard, but losing a child is harder. He might have been a cat, a completely different species, but I still considered him my child. He wasn't just a pet to me, he was so, so much more.
I am sorry if this seems like I am making fun of you in anyway, I am not trying to, but I said that because I haad a fish, yes a fish, that I had had since my 9th birthday, and he died two years ago, and I had gotten so attached to him, I started balling when I realized, and the worst part about it, he died whilst being taken care of by a family friend. I felt soo bad when he died.


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Dragon Lord
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Monday, 28. March 2011, 14:28
Dragon Lord
Sunday, 27. March 2011, 20:23
GAK - It does hurt. I've never felt this bad in my life. Honestly, I've never hurt this much.

Madyy - Thank you, I'll remember that.

Jimmy & Ancientblonde - Losing a pet is hard, but losing a child is harder. He might have been a cat, a completely different species, but I still considered him my child. He wasn't just a pet to me, he was so, so much more.
I am sorry if this seems like I am making fun of you in anyway, I am not trying to, but I said that because I haad a fish, yes a fish, that I had had since my 9th birthday, and he died two years ago, and I had gotten so attached to him, I started balling when I realized, and the worst part about it, he died whilst being taken care of by a family friend. I felt soo bad when he died.
No, it didn't seem like you were making fun of me at all. I was just saying that to me, he wasn't just a pet, but he was one of my own and that's what makes this so hard for me, why it devastates me this much.
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